Is anyone else as disappointed as me that Russell Crowe is now a bloated, violent phone throwing, married, weirdo and no longer husband to a murdered wife, father to a murdered son and he will have his vengeance (ok I know that gladiator wasn't real).

Well apparently half of Australia agrees with me, at a recent star studded event which the hairy faced one was hosting he decided to make continuous gags all night about his recent phone related criminal conviction. This resulted in a steady stream of viewers switching off leaving about 15000 viewers.

For those of you not in the know Crowe was recently convicted for bludgeoning a hotel employee with the hotel phone after finding that it didn't work, for which he was sentenced to a piffling fine which really hurt him in his bulging Hollywood wallet. He helpfully clarified that "traveling businessmen get touchy or testy with hotel staff in every major city all around the world" Well that's ok then, bludgeon away.