All quiet on the gossip front

It's no surprise to the Junkie that this is a slow week on the gossip front. If it makes sense that the rest of us are hiding away in our warm homes hoping that by the time we emerge we'll have worked off our Christmas pounds it makes sense that celebs, paragons of slender virtue, are doing the same.

There are one or two lil' titbits trickling through but quite frankly the whole Lindsay Lohan pregnancy test almost certainly fake photos have been talked about to death enough on the internet so we at the Junkie don't intend to waste your time.

And so in our time of gossip need who should come to our aid but Tom Cruise and his glove puppet Katie Holmes. Allegedly Christmas with the in-laws didn't go down too well. The official story is that Daddy Holmes doesn't like the way Tom is so controlling of Katie and the atmosphere became very uncomfortable, culminating in Tom-Kat leaving 3 days early.

I prefer to believe that Grandma Holmes put the moves on Cruise after too many gins on Christmas Eve, he responded by claiming that he'd seen a vision of Cult Leader Hubbard in the turkey and refused to let anyone eat any of the bird claiming it to be a sacred sign from space. To top the weekend off I assume Cruise tried to get into the shower with Daddy Holmes claiming he'd been giving him the come on all afternoon by discussion old episodes of star trek and agreeing that there is no such thing as mental health. This is however pure speculation and may not actually have happened.